The Pattaya Otter comments on recent happenings in and around Pattaya   Old Otter’s Almanac Winter Wallies Car Rally with a difference Mars Attacks Tank You Roger and Out And finally Happy Christmas   Old Otter’s Almanac Christmas is coming, the Otter is getting fat (getting?), a good time to polish the crystal ball and make some predictions as to what will take place in the coming year. Some of these are a pretty sure bet, such as:- The Beach Road construction work will eventually be completed, probably just after the last of the high season visitors goes home in disgust at the mess they have witnessed, but before the start of the next season another reason will be found to necessitate it all being dug up yet again. A disgusted visitor will write to the press vowing never to return. The arguments over early closing will rumble on and on, predictions will continue to be made that the recently imposed restrictions are about to be rescinded but these will not come to fruition, leastwise not again until the said last disgusted visitor returns home. Bar owners will continue to moan and complain that they are about to go out of business but yet more clutches of beer bars will continue to open all over town. Another visitor will write to the press vowing never to return Prime Minister Taksin (interestingly my spell checker flagged this word and suggested as an alternative ‘Toxin’ - honestly) will win the forthcoming general election to secure a second term in office, cries of foul will be shouted by all his opponents but in vain, many election irregularities will be investigated, some candidates will be disqualified but the overall result will stand – yet another disgusted visitor will write to the press vowing never to return. In spite of all this, Pattaya will continue to boom, new condo and housing projects will continue to sprout up all over the area, prices will continue to rise, traffic will get worse, and the infrastructure will continue to groan at the seams as it struggles to cope will all this new development. And a year from now, we will make the same predictions all over again.. Back to Top of Page   Winter Wallies It’s winter time here in Thailand. Not that we ‘falangs’ (western foreigners) are complaining. However it’s a different matter for the Thai people. The local press usually illustrate their weather forecasts with small captions indicating the type of weather expected. As you can see from this recent example (courtesy of The Bangkok Post), woolly hats and scarves are recommended – but just also have a look at the forecast temperatures (in degrees C) – it’s all relative really. In fact for us, it’s actually the best time of year to be here, there is no rain, almost wall to wall sunshine tempered with a cooling North-East breeze and the humidity falls to a more tolerable level. The only downside is that the water in our swimming pools becomes a little chilly on first entry. But do remember, if you are coming to visit here over the next few weeks, do bring your hats and coats – you might want to lend them to a Thai friend. Back to Top of Page   Car Rally with a difference The first ever cross Southeast Asia car rally recently left India heading through Burma, Vietnam, Cambodia, Laos, to eventually arrive here in Thailand en-route to Malaysia, Singapore and the finish on Batam Island in Indonesia. This is a little different from a normal driving event as can be illustrated by instructions given to contestants to use ‘maximum discretion in dodging armed bandits, heroin traffickers, HIV-AIDS infection, and malarial mosquitoes’. Well, beats a traffic snarl-up on the M25 I suppose. Back to Top of Page   Mars Attacks You may have read or seen something about the recent unrest in the extreme South of Thailand, also about our Prime Minister’s latest idea to promote calm and understanding there – namely to encourage everyone in other parts of the country to fold paper to make bird like creatures, specifically cranes, which would then be collected and dropped from aircraft over the South as a symbol of peace. I suppose it was an unfortunate co-incidence that I first read of this idea the morning after having the previous evening viewed the film ‘Mars Attacks’ on the television. And what immediately sprung to mind was the scene in the film where the Martian ambassador alights from his flying saucer and announces to the covey of assembled US Army Generals that ‘We come in peace’. This is followed by loud cheering from a large crowd of onlookers, one of whom then releases a white dove which proceeds to fly directly towards the ambassador. Unfortunately this gesture of peace is misunderstood resulting in fried dove followed by fried generals. Let us hope that a similar result does not ensue. Back to Top of Page   Tank You Roger and Out Speaking of Generals, it has recently been announced that the plan by the Thai military to purchase a job lot of 36 year old second hand Swiss Army tanks has been scrapped. It seems that someone has eventually realised that these would be about as much use as the current job lot of second hand Russian tanks the army currently possesses. In fact it is questionable whether Thailand really has any need for tanks at all as their only previous use seems to have been in implementing military coups which we all hope are a thing of the past. Relating to this, the Bangkok Post columnist Roger Crutchley, whose Sunday column is a must in the Otter house, recently reminded us of a ‘famously splendid moment featuring a tank during a coup in the early 1980’s’. He continued ‘The situation in Bangkok was quite tense and at one stage a tank was spotted trundling down Ratchadamnoen Avenue towards some trouble spot. However its commander must have been an ultra conscientious motorist because when the tank reached an intersection, it politely stopped at the red lights. Even though there was virtually no traffic, the tank dutifully sat there for a couple of minutes before setting off again when the lights turned green’ Back to Top of Page   And finally Happy Christmas Being humbled as a journalist by that from my esteemed colleague, it only remains for me to wish all readers a Very Happy Christmas and a peaceful and prosperous New Year with a drawing from one of Nancy Chandler’s delightful cards. And that is the end of Otter’s Tails for this edition. Back to Top of Page